Stuff Brazilian People Like.

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For those of you who like to read funny things online, you're probably familiar with a site that has gotten huge and started off as a simple list of... Stuff White People Like.  Which is exactly the name of the site/blog and now book!  Growing up as a "Latina" in the US and going to a predominately "white" high school and college, I find the list quite hysterical.  Don't get me wrong, whiteness rubs off and I myself like a lot of the same things as white people - but when talking about being stereotypical, the list is genius.  It's also funny because it's usually everyone else in the United States who gets tagged with a certain stereotype and not so much the white people.  

This has probably already been done before, but I thought it'd be fun to compile a list of "Stuff Brazilian People Like" here in my blog.  Mind you some of these may be more partial to Paulistanos or Mineiros or in general Brazilian people I know best... but we're being stereotypical and ironic, so I couldn't care less if you agree because most of these probably aren't true or are exagerated anyway :-) 

1. Butts. Brazilians love butts, and legs, and breasts, and arms and stomachs and have an
 overall appreciation of the curves and dents on the human body (whether it be male or female) , vut, if you ask any Brazilian what their favorite is... the bundinha is usually up there. 

2. Patriotism.  When in Brazil, everyone wants to talk about what state or city they're from and why it's the best, and they love talking shit about people who aren't from their hometown (In SP, they call you out for your 'foreign' accent).  When outside of Brazil, Brazilians make it a point to bring their Brazilianess up in a conversation (well, when you're in the US, you have to because people look at you and say, "What nationality are you?" after they ask you what your name is).  But when that doesn't happen, it's "Hi, my name is João Henrique and I'm Brazilian." This is usually done to prevent people from assuming we're spanish speaking latinos. 

3. Complaining. Despite their patriotism, Brazilians LOVE to complain about politics and then sit back and watch politicians steal their money so they can complain about it more. Granted a lot of it is out of our hands... but if you're not going to run for mayor, win and upkeep your morals and dignity, spare me, will ya?

4. Scorching Meat and Freezing Beer. The famous churasscos.  Don't think the Brazilian steakhouses you see in the gringa is what we actually have every weekend!  We're simple people on normal days.  All you need is a hot Saturday or Sunday and your dad, uncle or cousin is lighting the grill and putting the beer in the freezer so it's estupidamente gelada once the meat's ready. 

5. The 3 B's: Beatles, Bob and BeeGees.  Brazilians like music that's not Brazilian in general, but these are the 3 classics.  Some people place the Beatles about Tom Jobim, Bob Marley above Tim Maia and the BeeGees above... God.  It's actually quite funny because not even white people like these 3 as much as Brazilians do!

6. Gringoes.  As much as Brazilians love to talk shit about gringoes, throw a blond haired blue eyed Englishman in the middle of a Brazilian club and you'll have girls lining up next to him.  Have one of your American friends come visit and everyone gets souped up to gastar seu inglês.  We also love to marry Gringoes and take full advantage of gringo passports (don't think it's for the sex, self-centered gringo reading this) :-)  E por aí vai... 

7. Carbs.  It is not uncommon to find on a single dinner table of a typical Brazilian family one night or on the plate of a Brazilian at lunch time, dining at a por kilo, mashed potatoes/baked potatoes, french fries, rice, and pasta.  And then this person will complain afterwards, "Nossa, comi muito... aquela comida tava pesada..."

8. Fresh Things.  What white people call and love themselves, Farmers' Markets, Brazilians call, a feira.  Every neighborhood has one at least once a week and when they don't go to the feira to buy their fruits and vegetables, they refuse to buy the nasty veggies in some markets.  Meat is usually cut at the butcher's or the deli, and don't give a Brazilian a bad cut of meat if you have love for your own life (yes, that's a Brazilianism I've decided to English-ize).  And then there's the juice.  If it's not fresh, it's not juice, damnit.  

9. Spending Money.  Brazilians are big consumers.  The women love clothes, shoes, bags, brand names, jewelry, makeup, lotions, and more.  The men love sneakers, gadgets, electronics, cars, and more.  If someone doesn't have the money to buy something with a brand name, they buy the fake.  If they can't afford the iPod, they buy the mp3 player that looks like an iPod, etc.

10. Winter Clothing.  I swear it's 70 something degrees fahrenheit today and I saw a girl in a
 scarf and puffy coat walking on the street today.  If the weather forecast is anything under 70 deg. F (20ish Cel.), Brazilians LOVE to whip out their scarves and jackets and boots. Meanwhile I'm still in my sleeveless tops and flip flops... vai explicar... 

11. Orkut. This is Google's Facebook but three countries use it: Brazil, India and Pakistan.  Granted Brazilian like online communities and being online and online relationship building and blogs and spending time online in general.  This is a fact.  Brazilians spend the most time online per month in comparison to... the rest of the world. But Orkut is king in Brazil.  Everyone I know is on it from my 12 year old cousins to my MOTHER.  My grandmother told me she's learned to turn on the computer already.  An Orkut profile is next. 

12. Being Late.  Nobody gets to parties on time.  Brazilians love to stroll in 3 hours into a party and then pretend like they didn't get there after dessert was served and ask where dinner is.  If it's to something work related, Brazilians are great at making excuses for being late. 

13. Lotteries.  I think it's to make up for the lack of casinos... I just joined one pool for the Mega Sena this week :-) 

14. Traveling on Long Weekends.  Two records happen during every long weeked or holiday in Brazil: deaths related to car accidents and kilometers of traffic leaving São Paulo.  Tips for living in Brazil - travel in the off season or weekends where holiday is in sight!

15. Saints' Birthdays . Brazilians love celebrating Saint's and Catholic holidays.  Especially non-Catholics.  They party on Good Friday, the country celebrate's St. John's Day (São João) for the entire month of June (not gonna lie, it's one of my favorite holidays ever), Rio made St. George's Day (dia de São Jorge) a state holiday... and then people wonder why and how Brazilians are so "Catholic." 

16. Defining Gender with Stereotypes.  This is not so much in bigger cities, but for the most part, Brazilian men love to say that something's so "gay," and homem que é homem, or "men who are men," don't dress well or listen to certain songs or drink certain drinks.  They don't mind saying this in front of their gay friends about their straight friends as well.  Small town Minas also  loves to say that a woman who dresses a certain way or goes out a lot, etc. is slutty or "doesn't respect her body" and all those other things people who think more forwardly like to call ignorant.

17. Unecissarily Tight/Small Clothing. Two words: Muffin Tops. 

       (note: picture taken from a friend's facebook profile from when she was in brazil)

18. Working for the Government.  There are tests people take and have to PASS to work for the government.  People pay for classes in order to pass these tests.  Why?  Because the government steals, therefore the government pays well and offers baller incentives and benefits.  Oh yeah, and it's practically impossible to be fired from a government job.  Smaller towns with not so much in terms of job opportunities live off government jobs and the cousin/aunt/sister who works for the government is the family's pride and joy!

19. Building Modern Architecture Everyone Hates.  One word: Brasilia.  Two Architects: Oscar Niemeyer and Yutaka Ohtake.  I'm personally a fan of Niemeyer's work... but Ohtake... OhDear.

20. Bad Television.  Not all of it.  Just the channels you don't have to pay for.  And then maybe the TV shows they import from the US and other countries.  I'm an avid novela watcher.  I don't know why.  It's kind of  like my obsession with The Hills... 

Okay, there's my top 20 sarcastic what Brazilian people like and I'm although I say "they" when I talk about Brazilians, in this post, I am just as Brazilian as about 95% of everything I've written. ;-P 

What are your top things Brazilians like?!
hope this made for a laugh, beijos!

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