8 months... and counting.

By 22:07 , , , ,

last night, over temaki, sashimi, sushi, and more japanese wonderfulness that is entailed in a "sushi rodizio," featured in many Japanese restaurants in SP, kyle and i were talking about life and where we were and just having wonderful conversation, as i usually do with him. and at one point, he turned to me and asked me something like, "on a scale of 1-10, how happy are you right now?" which, as much as this question caught me off guard because it's not something i think about too often, i quickly replied with a "7."

have i been happier before in my lifetime? yes, definitely.

have i been happier before since coming to brazil? probably not.

is a 7 being my happiest i've been here quite depressing considering my signature eternal optimism? no, not at all.

where did the other 3 points go and what will it take for me to reach a 10? i think one of those points has to do with my fulfillment in my career. yeah, i can definitely use more pay (but who can't, right?). don't get me wrong, i love what i'm doing now and i think my job right now has contributed greatly to my happiness here. i think i would just really like to go back to school soon but am by no means financially secure for this nor do i even know what i would like to go back to school for - which i kind of think would make me happier right now.

the other 2 points? well, i don't think i'll ever be able to recover those while i'm here in brazil. the fear of something happening to one of my loved ones in the US is devastating because i know i won't be able to just hop on a plane to see anyone if this were to be the case. and when i say, "i miss you more," in wall posts and e-mails - i mean it.

what keeps me going here? the 7 points? to break it down quite simply: my faith, my family (both here and there - i don't think a better support system is possible), my career i've just started to build, my new apartment that's leaving me broke, the unbelievable friendships i'm making here, my health...

this question kyle brought up comes at a very timely moment - today is my 8 month "anniversary," i guess you would call it being in brazil. time has FLOWN like no other, and i think i'm making good progress. in 8 months i have held 2 jobs, have made good friends, have traveled a little, met 90% of my family, have matured to no measure, and have learned to make a killer kiwi-sake caipirinha. not too many people can say that, and i'm happy to say i can (there's the 7th point). :-)

on a lighter note. today also marks the 9 month anniversary of my not going out salsa dancing (last time was in DC with my lovelies from IAD!). and this is certainly something that cannot go on. so i should probably start getting pretty so i can bailar sexily tonight!!


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